Good Monday afternoon, here is my second installment of Whispers of Wisdom where I dissect an interview of a very influential figure of society. Today I am listening to an interview from the Lewis Howes series via soundcloud named the school of greatness, he was former football player and has built multiple million dollar online businesses. His guest today is Keith Ferrazzi, an author of best seller books and Ceo of Ferrazzi Greenlight.
Here is the video interview
Key points taken
His thoughts on mentor-ship @ 2m26s
Find a group of people in your life that you can learn constantly from.
“Our job is to create a roadmap of individuals in our lives through whom we learn.”
“Mentor-ship to me is about relational learning.”
Relational Learning explanation @ 3m54s
Relationship Action plan @ 6m11s
1) Write down your goals, next to every goal write 3 to 5 people names critical to achieving these goals. – Opportunity Group.
2) Who, to achieve my goal, do i wanna learn from?
3) Imagine who are the people i can trust who have these four core characteristics.
- Intimacy to the point vulnerability – eg. Can I tell you when i am feeling weak, vulnerable, insecure etc.
- Generosity – Do you care enough to help.
- Candor – Will you tell me the truth. Being blunt, no BS!
- Accountability – They ensure that you do what you plan out accomplish.
Why are people afraid to be share their vulnerabilities? @ 9m53s
Being able to drop your guard, can be a very good way of showing someone that you are willing to be open and honest also be very trusting individual.
“The willingness to be transparent purposefully, put yourself out there in an accelerated fashion only accelerates your relationship with others”
“If you are not Willing to push your boundaries of your social discomfort, then you would be mediocre in your life.”
An example an relationship action plan for one of his foster sons @ 13m36s
Leading with Generosity @ 15m46s
His Rule of thumb – “First rule of relationships no one wants one with you.”
Rodney Dangerfield had a joke that he was so ugly that his mom had to tie a pork chop around his neck so the dog would play with him. So you have to know how to bait people with your “porkchop”, what uniqueness do you bring along with your generosity to begin a relationship with someone.
After they will judge you based on if they want to be with you, here is where you start letting your guard down being authentic, care. Lead with generosity follow with care will accelerate the relationship.
5 packets of generosity: Identify 5 things that will help you like that person, which in turn will uncover ways you think you can help this person. If its possible now you have earned the right to build an ongoing relationship which now means you can follow up or fail, get back to them, continue to be generous, continue to stay on their radar through “pinging”.
With so many people to maintain relationships with, how do you keep pinging the right people? @ 18m57s
Using a shrink to constantly critique and help him and his employees with personal growth @ 21m7s
Diligence of Behavior Change @ 23m49s
Wake in the morning look at your list of your defects of character. for example avoiding conflicts, insecure etc.
Imagine scenarios where these issues may occur during the day and make a promises of how you would behave in said instance.
Have someone to hold you accountable in Keith’s case he calls a friend everyday and explain how his defects of character went today.
Before going to bed revisit the day and see where your defects were present and ask yourself who do you owe an apology to. Then repeat.
Free license for employees to squeal to the company shrink about keith’s behavior @ 24m55s
What his organisation does @ 26m2s
Relational competency @ 27m9s
Are you the kind of individual that creates and environment that invites people in?
This ultimately contingent upon your ability to naturally be able to invite someone into your space and make you hard to forget once you are introduced.
People with such traits Bill Clinton, Dali llama and his Aunt Rose who made everybody feel good about themselves. Its all about divorcing yourself from self and ego and looking at someone and being curious and caring about them before you even know who they are.
Twelve step program quote – “You don’t think your way into a new way of acting, you act your way into a new way of thinking”
Another quote – “Give a shit! Start with the presumption that you give a shit!”
Want to improve memory with names @ 30m49s
Dale Carnegie quote – “The sweetest and dearest word in the English language is a person’s name.”
Online relationship building vs offline relationship building and how we can accelerate online relationships @ 32m22s
Scale the levels of importance for relationships based on how you want or need to learn from said source. In terms of a bulls-eye closest lifelines to the middle circle and the weaker the relation it works its way outwards.
In the end though you have to be generous for these relationships to grow so that it will be easy for you to gain what you require. Just show you care!
His thoughts on what was brought on the earth to do and has he accomplished it @ 34m54s
“A legacy is about service”
“I want to leave the biggest damn imprint on the planet relative to service and being of service.”
What he is grateful for @ 36m39s
What is your definition of Greatness @ 38m48s
This was definitely a great listen took me some time to get through it but as you can see Keith’s main message throughout is to be of service to others, give a shit and you will gain what you want. I hope you enjoy the read and if you watched the interview that you were able to acquire something of worthy importance.